Coming out as an ally

Coming out as an ally

Actually, before I was comfortable with the LGBT community, my first ever friend to tell me that she was a lesbian--or that she was bi--lived in Stockton. I used to live in Stockton with my sisters and my stepmother.

Before then, when I was very very young, my mother and her side of the family, they wouldn't really broadcast the LGBT community, but every time we would see someone who was transgender or who was in drag, they would always tell me that was wrong, and I shouldn't do that, and if I do, I will be punished for it. Basically, just telling me the world wouldn't accept me if I was to become that way, and that they wouldn't accept me.

But when I moved to Stockton when I was in 9th grade, my friend told me, and I was shocked. She told me in math class, and I couldn't even do my work. I just looked at her and I was like, "Do your parents know?" That was the first thing I asked her. And she said "No." And she just explained to me that she didn't feel that anything was wrong with it, and that she was open with it. And I just didn't understand that at all. I was like, "Oh my, I have to fix her." [Laughing] I just thought that I could "help" her. "Well, do you like him? Cause he likes you... you know, maybe you guys should hang out..." I didn't realize that I was actually hurting her because she thought that I didn't accept her and that I wouldn't be her friend.

But, it was just like, that was how I was brought up. No one ever told me, "Hey, if someone ever tells you they're gay, you accept them no matter what. Just be their friend, be there for them, love them unconditionally." I thought that I could "catch it," like, I thought it was contagious. I know that's very ignorant, but that's exactly what I thought--like, maybe if I hang around with her too much, I might start liking girls, and that's not what I want to do, because it's not supposed to be that way. And my grandmother used to always do the Bible in my face, like, "No. It's Adam and Eve. No."

But now I'm just okay with it, like I love everyone. Everyone loves me back, I hope. Now I actually try to get to know people better in the LGBT community and they're just like me, everyone's normal, we're just all getting along together, and... I'm an ally.